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Jalapeño Poppers, Again.

September 7, 2012

It seems like at some point in every summer, I get stuck with a bucketful of jalapeños that I don’t feel like cooking.  I mean, I could always make salsa, but I’m a little tired of salsa.  Yes, you can throw them into anything that needs a little spice, but that only takes care of 2 or 3 at a time!  Thus, I always end up making jalapeño poppers.  It gets rid of the whole batch in one fell swoop.  Well, one incredibly tedious and time-consuming swoop.  The first time I made them (middle-ish of the page), I filled them with some sort of noochy cheese sauce and then beer battered and deep-fried them.  The next time, I wanted to make them healthier, plus I don’t own a deep fryer anymore, plus frying things is terrifying and I generally seem to just smoke up the house and set off smoke detectors and it’s just not worth it.  Anyway, I decided to bake them (end of the page), but still wanted the crunch, so I crusted them in panko.  Those were filled with Tofutti cream cheese and Daiya cheddar, and they were mighty delicious, and froze well.


This time around, I could not be bothered to fry or batter.  That whole breading thing takes forever and a day, and after you’ve just seeded 2 dozen or more jalapeños and stuffed them with a creamy spread…you just want to forget about them!  I mean, eat them!  So, whatever.  These are as far from a traditional popper as you can get, but I don’t care.  They were scrumptious.  Filled with a creamy, noochy stuffing, they were a perfect snack!  Because they were über spicy (like…crazy hot, end of summer pepper business), they were more filling (right?  spicy foods fill you up faster?).  I was hoping that the stuffing would cool them down a bit, but it didn’t.  Oh well.  Also, the boyfriend said these were the best jalapeño poppers he’s ever had, so I suppose that’s saying something.

If you’re a complete crazy person like me, feel free to make them pretty by slicing up tiny cherry tomatoes and putting a teensy slice on each popper.  If you’re not a maniac, then don’t.  See if I care.

Baked Jalapeño Poppers

1 million jalapeños, or a couple dozen, or however many you have (the stuffing filled 24ish peppers)

14 oz extra firm tofu

1/2 cup cashews (I used roasted and salted, but rinsed them.  Use raw if you’re a purist.)

2 tsp ground cumin

1/2 tsp ground coriander

1/4 tsp smoked paprika

1/4 cup nutritional yeast

juice of 2 limes

1 tsp salt, or more to taste

sliced cherry tomatoes, optional, for lunatics only

Crumble the tofu into a food processor (squeeze out as much liquid as you can, but you don’t have to press it), and then add the rest of the ingredients (except jalapeños).  Process until completely smooth, stopping once in a while to scrape down the sides with a rubber spatula.  When you like the consistency, taste for salt, spices, and lime juice.  Set aside to let the flavors mingle while you prep the peppers.

To prep the peppers, I highly recommend that you wear gloves.  I did, and then when I took out my contacts later that evening, my eyeballs didn’t feel like they were on fire.  Listen, the juices from the peppers gets under your nails, and even though you wash your hands a bunch, it’s still there, just waiting to burn your eyes, a kitty’s nose, or your nether regions.  Lecture over, but just sayin’.

Anyway, cut them all in half and scrape out the seeds and ribs.  Arrange them on a non-stick baking sheet (or spray with oil, or use parchment paper) and preheat your oven to 350˚F to get your oven good and hot while you stuff the peppers.  Using a spoon (and still wearing your gloves!), fill each half to the top.  You can even mound it up if there is extra left over.  Leave them cut side up (oh, top with tiny tomato slices, if you’re feeling unbalanced), and bake for 35 minutes, or until the peppers appear soft and wrinkly, and the spread is nicely browned.  Let cool a bit before eating.  These store well in the fridge for up to a week!

The tofu cashew cream is so smooth, and nicely spiced with a Latin twist, thanks to the cumin and lime.  The smoked paprika adds just enough of a husky, smoldering undertone that compliments the flavor of the jalapeño.  Good luck only eating a few!

I actually had to stop munching on these because they were so fiery that they caused…digestive…troubles…  But they were great for sharing and it’s really unlikely that all of the jalapeños you get will be as spicy as mine were.  These were easily the hottest ones I’ve ever had my (gloved) hands on.

Oh, enjoy!  I’m envious of you all making these, because now I want them again!

Local: jalapeños, cherry tomatoes

Also!  Since these are a healthy snack, I’m participating in something new (for me): Wellness Weekend, hosted by Ricki of Diet, Dessert, and Dogs.  Stop over there and check out lots of healthy, whole foods recipes for your beginning of September!

22 Comments leave one →
  1. September 7, 2012 12:24 pm

    There was so very much lol in this posting.

  2. September 7, 2012 12:25 pm

    These look great, but they would do me in. I always throw extra jalapenos in the freezer. I grew some this summer, and I think there is one small one on the plant. Peppers hate Oregon.
    xo kittee

    • September 7, 2012 12:31 pm

      I will have to do that with the abundance of serranos on my plants! Do you seed and cut them up first, or just throw them in whole?

      • September 8, 2012 12:12 pm

        I throw them in whole, they take 30 seconds to defrost enough to seed and they chop very easily semi frozen. Sometimes I run them under warm water for a second to soften a bit.

      • September 8, 2012 9:05 pm

        Thank you!

  3. September 7, 2012 1:08 pm

    Oooh, yum, yum, and YUM!! I can’t even express how appealing these look to me–jalapeno poppers are one of my all-time favorite snacks/appetizers! And with the jalapeno plant in my garden growing beyond all expectations, I have LOTS of jalapenos to use for this recipe! Thanks so much for linking up to WW this week! 😀

    • September 7, 2012 1:19 pm

      Great, I hope you like them! And thank you for providing a gathering spot for healthy recipes!

  4. September 8, 2012 11:42 am

    Oh, I so love you right now! We have gazillions of peppers now, and have been wanting to find a Great Recipe for Vegan Poppers. Yay, it sounds like you did it! Will be making these TODAY!

    • September 8, 2012 11:50 am

      How exciting! Have fun! (Wear gloves!)

      • September 8, 2012 12:27 pm

        Oh, I prepared (for once) Bought a box of disposable gloves at Walgreens, am good to go! We get heirloom plants from our friend, she gave us one that grew a yellow, jalapeno-ish looking pepper. Thinking about trying some of them in this recipe, too! Get a rainbow of poppers going…..

      • September 8, 2012 9:07 pm

        Sounds so cool! Post a picture to the blog’s Facebook page if you like, I’d love to see them!

  5. September 12, 2012 2:52 pm

    We ate them before I had a chance to take a pic! Ack! They were super, and I will take a pic and post to FB on the next batch. Thanks for sharing such a great recipe….

  6. Jeny permalink
    September 16, 2012 10:11 pm

    So excited and loved these. I used cashew butter and then dipped them in Vegan ranch! It was sooo yummy! Thank you!

    • September 17, 2012 1:51 pm

      Vegan ranch would be perfect for dipping these! Glad you liked them!

  7. foodfashionfarm permalink
    December 23, 2012 8:27 pm

    Sounds amazing!!! Going to try this ASAP.

  8. Victoria permalink
    May 21, 2015 1:25 am

    Did you take the seeds out of your peppers? I’ve always been under the impression that jalapeño peppers are just sort of plain, green, tasting, without the seeds.


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